Love Is

It was softly snowing big fat flakes in Minnesota 34 years ago today when Chris and I got married. I wore my mom’s mink stole over my wedding dress - which had to be held up slightly above the slushy “wintry mix” on the ground. It was beautiful; I loved the snow coming down as much as I loved the man I walked with down the aisle.

I am reading quotes from Toni Morrison and stopped on one about love today:

“Love is or it ain’t. Thin love ain’t no love at all.”

Chris and I are blessed with the “love is” and it is thick.

To my boys - who may or may not marry someday in

the future - here is my take on love...with the help of that quote from the late, great Tony Morrison:

Step in. Step up. Stand on your tip toes if you have to.

Give to give, and give the whole damn thing.

If “it” doesn’t consume your thoughts during a final Blackhawks Stanley Cup game...it ain’t. (I might add here, if she is not a Hawk’s fan...it probably ain’t. But we could all vote on that if need be.)

If it comes on without a push, or a jab, or a switch ...it is.

There is no such thing as:

“I think I love her”

or

“I sorta love her”

or

“I would love her if...”

This would be thin love. Like thin ice - it will crack, give way, melt like a story with no plot.

When -or if- you have kids, you will understand the love that we parents have for you. It is a totally different kind of love.

Our love for you came when you came and it will leave only when we leave this earth. Although you will feel the spirit of it long after we are gone, hear it in the voice you use to calm a worried child or friend, see it in your brothers’ faces when you gather to meet at Thanksgiving.

Every time in between? If you make us cry, if you make us slam a cup down, or crazy worry with our hair on fire for a night - it still is

It still is, even perhaps, if you find a girl who doesn’t cheer for the Hawks.

November 16, 1985